My “love” life.
Okay, I haven’t posted about romance for two years already on Tumblr. I haven’t felt anything towards romance and what not. I haven’t been lonely. I’ve just been myself. I focused on myself and attempted on making myself happy. So let’s have a flash back. A “love” life started up again in about August 2013. So not that long ago as you know. Met this older guy, it was going great. Really fun and easy going carefree I don’t care to label this kind of relationship. After about a month and a half I begin to get peeved because every time I go over every fucking chance he gets he is ON THAT FUCKING CELLULAR DEVICE. He’s constantly getting text messages, he is ALWAYS on Instagram. I don’t mind it once in a bit but not every freaking minute. I don’t care to go through his phone because that isn’t my business, I don’t really want a “relationship” with him. I know it is going to go bad. If you “personally” know me, you know I have an issue expressing my emotions. Mother and I had been arguing, I was in the shower at his place to get ready to leave. Then I just literally strap my dress on and head out. He’s angry, I don’t blame him. Then I cried. For the first time I cried in front of someone excluding myself in the mirror in years. I got back in the shower because I didn’t want him to think I was crying. Still I’m sobbing, before I know it he’s telling me that I am crying because I am week. The same phrase I heard before and refrained from showing my emotions. Anger rushed through me and I couldn’t take it. Fast forward a bit, I felt vulnerable to the fact that he knew now that I truly had feelings. Something I tried really hard to not show him. Him & I were talking for a few months, then he fucked me over. Met some girl OFF OF INSTAGRAM! He went to NYC and got a hotel room and lets see, met and fucked her. Marvelous, simply marvelous. Coincidentally, I also met someone off of Instagram, mutual friends, same area. No long distance shit, it does feel like it sometimes though. I didn’t know he messaged me on KiK because I deleted due to a random photo of a penis the first day I made it. A friend successfully persuaded me to reinstall it so I did and I saw his message. I felt dumb replying two weeks later but he was cute, so fuck it. I did. He actually responded and we continued talking. The way he spoke to me really branched out. I actually felt important. As if I was doing something positive. off the bat I enjoyed speaking to him. Although he seemed as if he wasn’t sure what to do I admired him for t. He definitely had the courage to be himself, to show himself and not care on what level I thought of him. I still really like him and it scares me because I’ve been feeling extremely emotional lately and I just can’t find the words to even explain it. I can’t explain to him what I think of him on an emotional level, about myself, about anything. I feel like it is possibly going to ruin things. I wish I could tell him. tell him some of my weaknesses, or at least show him. The thing is that once someone gets into my mind, They don’t like it, I don’t even like it. I have such a positive outlook on life sometimes but I never can on myself. Let’s see if I can do it tonight.
The School of the Art Institute of Chicago, 162 Building
Matilda (1996), dir. Danny DeVito
(Keep in mind, first time I’ve ever posted up a writing having to do with this “topic.”)
The scent of sweet masculinity lingering the air. I feel the air radiate off your skin, The humid air simply lounging and bouncing off of you and relaxing on my soft rose petal skin. The rugged facial hair you have is the greatest physical attraction you have in my eyes. When your soft yet cold lips find their way onto mine, I melt and climax slowly due to the intensity that I feel. I feel the arch of your nose slither down my neck, breast, and abdomen and caress itself into the lips on my lower half.
I feel the tickle of your facial hair, however it tends to spike a bit yet I am so aroused by the occurrence. Your rough and thick tongue slides itself along my lips, simply tracing. Your lips pucker up and I begin to heart the suckle and feel it as my back begins to arch. We started the event with myself lying flat on my back and since you’ve made your way down; I appear to arch. I feel your teeth on my clit, as you gently nibble and breathe onto my areas. The cool drift of air simply breezes along us. The drift takes not only the wind yet our moans into the presence of all the others……..